____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
wow bdsm is so cute
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
