you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
how does that bad decision feel?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
