she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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