what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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