Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
