At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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