I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
