Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
