sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
