I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
