My first STD was from a foam party
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
