i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm bleeding and have questions
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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