She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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