remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
