What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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