A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
