How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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