Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She told me I should be a condom model.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
