Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
