don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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