Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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