she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
