How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
