But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize