saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
