im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
