remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
