Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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