He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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