I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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