If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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