Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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