Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
