I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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