Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
