this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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