He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
