My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
