is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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