they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
