She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Randomize
