i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
