im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
