Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
