Cold hands, warm shart.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My ATM looks so different sober.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Randomize
