My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize
