Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
