Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
