the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
