the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
