i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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