babies were throwing up all over the place
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
