I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
