Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
