I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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