Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
