i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
