apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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