sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
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