New invention idea: vibrating tampons
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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