he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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