OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
