Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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