Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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