atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
