i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
if only i could text you this smell
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
