yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize