ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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